I have not been great. If you have read some of my most recent posts, you can see that I have talked about my anxiety and depression coming back.
It was weird this time because it came back slow. I would notice things bothering me that shouldn’t. Real stupid things would made me sad and consume my day. I would worry about things I shouldn’t. It is so hard to explain to someone who does not suffer from depression or anxiety. It is like I could work all day about losing five dollars when its five dollars. Nothing about it is rational.
So I decided to make an appointment with my doctor to change my medication. To be clear, this is really not fun. I would rather eat nails than do this. But…I knew it needed to be done. It is not fair to me or the people around me to live like this.
So I went to the doctor who asked me how I was doing. I tried to explain that I was not horrible. I was not suicidal at all. but I could definitely tell that my medication was not working properly at all and I needed it adjusted.
So she gave me options and we agreed to try a new one.
Why am I writing this? To be honest, and do not take this the wrong way, this really is not any of your business. My life is my life, and I never have to discuss anything personal. I can just stick with posts about politics or sports cards or whatever.
But I decided to write this shorter than normal post because I do want you to know there is nothing wrong with going to the doctor if you are not feeling right. It is okay to have depression and anxiety and if is more than okay to try and do whatever you can to curb it and live a life you deserve.
For years I was embarrassed to talk about it. I would just cover it up. People who do not understand it perceive it as being weak.
And it isn’t at all. I have a lot of good things going on now. I just want to enjoy it.
So that is really all. I am tired of worrying about dumb shit and feeling like the sky is falling when it isn’t.
And I feel better about making the decision to go back to the doctor. I truly do.
Thank you so much for reading. Diving more into weight loss next week so please consider subscribing for free or a paid subscription where a couple posts a week will be open to you along with chat. And as always, if you like what you see, you can always leave a tip here.
You hang in there Tony. I made the decision to start on meds long ago and it takes courage to admit you need help. Changing meds is never easy but you took that step. You are important to a lot of people. Be good to yourself. You deserve all good things.
Thank you for being honest and authentic with your journey. You may not realize it but you are an inspiration! ❤️