Workouts and Weight Loss
Yesterday I walked in the gym. I went around eleven in the morning but was thinking about it all morning. The gym was not busy at all which it has not been for the last couple of months.
I went to my favorite elliptical machine (There are three at my small gum but there is one I prefer although they are all the same). I got on and put on my head phones and started listening to my playlist. It usually starts off with a slow sad song by Phil Collins. Then it slowly goes into MLB walk up songs like Narco and Forgot About Dre. Then it goes into weird metal songs like I Prevail’s Blank Space remake and a version of the Gummi Bears theme song. And then lastly are the hype songs. Jump Around, anything by Eminem, and Metallica are the usual jams. Finally I realize I have done cardio for close to ninety minutes and finish up, especially if its not a lift day.
Before I go any further into where I am today, let me tell you where I was a year ago. I would try and go to the gym. When I would get to the gym I would be out of breath already. I would try to do the treadmill, but my back would hurt after a little less than a minute. Then I would try and do the elliptical for around three minutes. This whole process would take over thirty minutes but my workout was less than four minutes. Then I would be so exhausted I would skip going to the gym for a week, and try it again.
I truly do not know exactly how much weight I have lost so far over the last six months. I know it is over a hundred pounds. I have spent my life being a slave to the scale. The truth is, the scale is important but not as much to me anymore. What is important is being able to walk with my son after a baseball game without telling him to slow down or go ahead of me. What is important is being able to buckle my seatbelt in my car. What is important is being able to but more clothes that just three hoodies that I am lucky fit me.
I am not out of breath often. Not anymore. I can walk around the grocery store with ease and if I forget some produce when I am on the other side of the store, I have no problem going back to get it. Every day I am getting my life back. I am loving the gym again. I am enjoying life more and more.
So my update for right now is that I am ok. I am starting to remember what it is like to feel normal again. My anxiety is not great. I worry about things that I probably do not need to, but right now that is almost everyone. My depression is curbed because I can reason with myself that it lies.
And I am getting stronger and healthier each day. I cannot ask for much more at this point.
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