Spitting In The Wind
I have a friend named Fred who for all accounts, has been a great influence in my life since I met him two years ago. He is someone who has lived a very interesting, rewarding, and tragic life who has now landed on his feet and is enjoying the life he has deserved for years.
He lived very close to me so sometimes we meet up to just discuss things, random things. He will ask about sports cards although I do not think he has any desire to collect. I will ask him about classic cars although I have absolutely no desire to ever deal with a car again. So it is a fun dynamic.
He also is a very business savvy person so will give me life lessons that he has lived through. I love hearing about the failures of successful people. Not so much the failure, but how they overcame it to be where they are today.
I am straying from my point. He follows me on Twitter and he has the exact same political and social ideology I have. I do not think we have ever really disagreed on a topic, and if so, I think we were able to see eye to eye in the end. But he would tweet thoughts and I would RT. This has gone on for months.
Then he stopped.
I asked him why. And he said at some point, he realized that Twitter has gotten so bad, that it is just not worth it. What good does it do? Whose mind has ever changed from a tweet? I listened and I thought about this a lot over the last few days.
I have been on Twitter (refuse to call it X) since 2008. I got on to talk about my first of many weight losses. Then it was to promote my writing. Then it was to play hashtag games. You know how those large fake accounts ask you a question now? Well, those were the hashtag games from 2013-15. Then I responded to Trump, then wrote my thoughts, then responded to every a**hole on the site, and now, I use it to talk about sports, sports cards, and promote my eBay.
I have not been political at all. There is no point. Fred is absolutely right. You get nothing out of it. You do not help any candidate by tweeting. And it has become so diluted in general. So many bad actors pretending to be liberal or saying what you want them to in order to get a paycheck.
It really is spitting in the wind.
But here is what I also realized. It is pointless to express how I feel any day there. For years, I have been very open about my depression, anxiety, weight loss struggles, and life there. Today I posted how I felt. I have a lot to be stressed about. My life is so much better, but I also am a hot mess lol. I shared my life on Twitter, which I really have no reason to anymore, and someone I follow commented for me to go wash my face. Keep in mind, I literally wrote in my tweet do not comment on my mood, asking how other people are.
And I kind of see the spitting in the wind mentality. At this point, I just want to be happy. My main goal. I want to have a day, week, month, and year where things are smooth with minimal bumps. I think I deserve that. I struggled a lot over the years. Chasing people for things, making irrational decisions to pay rational bills. And I had to.
My mental health is worth more than dealing with stupid comments each and every day. And here, I have less than 1,000 people who read. So you all know me well enough to support when I need it, back off when I need it, and help when I need it.
So what I am saying is, you will get me here. You will get my thoughts and moods and everything. I do not care how many people view it or if you ignore my pleas to support me as a paid subscriber or donate to me at ko-fi.
As for Twitter, its for sports and sports cards. I would rather someone yell at me about saying the Big 10 is better at football than the SEC this year. but sharing my life there is not worth it.
Just sick of spitting in the wind.
Thanks for being here. I pretty much said my ending piece above about a paid subscriptions and Ko-Fi, so will hold off on it today.