Sh*tty Day
I had a real shitty day. I thought I could send out a tweet about it but I realized I had no desire to do that. I could keep it to myself as well. but I do not have a ton of readers as it is, so I will just complain here.
It started out when I woke up. I realized I forgot to do a couple of things last night so my morning consisted of me rushing around instead of planning ahead.
Then I stubbed my toe. Listen, that f*cker hurt. I let out a howl. Like an OWWWWWWWWW. And I put ice on it and no clue why because that fucker still hurts.
Then three people backed out of some cards purchased this weekend. Look, that happens, especially week one of the NFL. I know it happens. but it is kind of like telling me you are going to punch me in the face versus just hitting me in the face. The warning does not matter, it still hurts.
Then, and this is just amazing, a woman decided to send me a CVS letter message on Twitter about how she tried to buy art from me in 2021 and she never responded to me and I sent a rude message because she did not respond to me and how dare I.
2021
TWO THOUSAND AND F*CKING TWENTY ONE!
Like I was 480 pounds then struggling to put food on the table for my family. I would have people message me for art only to never respond just to talk to me. This happened all the time. So for two years, this person wanted to tell me how dare I be rude and she was going through things and I was like YOU MESSAGED ME FOR F*CKING ART AND THEN DID NOT RESPOND!!! Like fine, but two years later you want to write me????? What is wrong with you?
People did this to me a lot. They would message me, then ignore me, then I would write a snarky reply, and then all of the sudden everything in their life was wrong and I was a bad person and they would screenshot it and send it to group DMs about how much of an asshole I am and blah blah f*cking blah!!!!!!
So, just so you know, I hate selling art. Why I am giving it away now.
And then to end my shitastic day, I sent someone the wrong sports card who was totally cool about it but now I need to see if I can buy this card on eBay for him.
So there is my day I am angry and irritated and pissed and everything.
in 2018, I wanted to commit suicide. I truly planned on leaving this Earth.
My shitty days now…
I said what I said. I am done. I am not look forward to tomorrow because I know it will be better.
And that is why I am happy to be here in 2023, not 2018 or 2021.
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Sometimes instead of taking things a day at a time, I slow down and use a minute, 10 minutes, whatever it takes to bring my breath back to what it is when I’m not hyperventilating!
The best advice I ever got, from a woman who was like a mom to me for 20 years, was when someone did something shitty, I would say
“how could somebody do that to me!” All hurt and angry.
She said “Take the To Me” out of it. “What are you talking about?”
The real question is “How could someone do that? Once you realize that person’s awful behavior has almost nothing to do with you, it allows you to not be.”
I still use it today.
I bet tomorrow’s gonna be great.
Don't you love it when even the worst days now do not compare to the darkness of the past! That my friend is progress!