I was a restaurant manager for twenty years. I was a chef, general manager, assistant manager, and regional manager for numerous restaurants. And let me tell you, it sucked.
Working as a “manager” in a restaurant is the worst. The pay and benefits are good. I cannot knock them. But you never see your family, you are treated like shit by customers, and your whole night is ruined when a nineteen year old dishwasher tells you to go fuck yourself.
Think about it, you always hear cool stories about waiters and bartenders. That badass cook and that host that actually seats people properly. Well, my job was to get yelled at. That is it. And while I did not worry financially, I also did not sleep well at night.
In 2015, I was given a new opportunity to leave restaurants and work for myself. It was what I wanted. More money, no late nights, weekends off, and a stable life. It was a dream come true.
And you quickly learn that dreams can also be nightmares.
The last seven years have been really hard mentally for me. I have gone from a steady job to a volatile job to losing it all during the pandemic to selling art online.
Doing anything online is really hard. You get called a grifter and untalented all day long. People who you thought respected you show you no respect at all, especially when you need them the most. I would sell art to great people but in all fairness, you cant sell art to the same people every month. And I know the ones who did supported me in what I was doing.
Some large accounts made it harder for me. I do not want to get into it but there are a few accounts you love that would spend all day mocking me for selling art. And I would keep going because fuck a fake cow and fuck a guy who steals content and pretends it is their own. I believed in what I was doing. If everyone could do it, then they would. And one day I will call all these fuckers out but it just is not worth it now. Let them get paid by liberal PACs so they can be unauthentic and tell you to smash the like button if you like Biden. Have fun.
Okay I am bitter.
But selling art has become harder and harder and honestly I know I can do more. I do not have to ask people to DM me only to devalue what I do. Selling sports cards is easy. I know what I have into them so I know what I can sell them for. There is no sentimental value in a sports card. It is worth what it is worth. Anyone can sell it. With art, to me, it is a lot different.
So I decided to stop selling my art. I will eventually pick it up again but not via Twitter. Twitter sucks. I guess it always did, but I do not see anyone that I follow or respond to. So I am in a world with Nick Adams and Catturd. And all it does is make me go bananas. Okay, it is fun to respond to Nick Adams, but still.
So why am I writing this? Well, I have gone full into my health journey. I have done this so many times but this time I have more confidence into seeking out companies and people who will benefit from having me share my story. I am writing more and will gain more confidence in submitting my work to get it published like I did years ago. I am working out again with my son who is thirteen and can lift close to what I can now. And I am selling sports cards at a higher pace than I ever have and considering doing online breaks.
See, my life is always looking for the greener grass. And when I think I found it, I realize it is not. So instead of getting frustrated and doing the same thing I always have (the definition of insanity), I am just going to use my talents and capitalize on them. Like I should have before.
So yes I am a little down right now. One thing about me, I hate change. I hate that my art was selling less because of the economy and I hate that my life is not stable.
But what I am saying is that I am not lost. I just need to find a little more. And I think I am on the path to the light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you for reading. My Substack will be sharing more and more about me and my thoughts and 90 percent of it will be free. I am going to start posting videos and some of my eating/workouts behind the paywall so consider getting a paid subscription. You will not be disappointed. And if you ever wanted to support me, you could always buy me a coffee here.