I am fat. AND????

Thank you for pointing out the obvious

Okay, it is finally time to share my life with you all. I have tried numerous times to write and then I would just go silent for a couple of weeks. But things have been getting better and my confidence is coming back and, well, I am ready to share my life.

First off, lets start with the obvious. I am fat. I was over 400 pounds in 2008. And I lost 221 pounds in a year in 2009. And I was the smartest weight loss guru ever!

That is until I gained back weight in 2011.

But I lost the rest of my fat in 2013! I was working out and eating right and feeling good!

That is until I gained back all of my weight in 2016.

But don’t worry my friends! I was back at it and losing weight again and was down 150 pounds in 2020.

Then this weird thing called the pandemic hit.

The pandemic did a lot of damage to me all around. First off I stopped working out. Keep in mind I would go to the gym seven days a week. But it was not safe to go. And my family comes before anything, including my sessions at the gym. Now, I know what you are going to say. but why didn’t you just workout at home, walk, blah blah blah…

Wellllllll, I also lost my business during the pandemic. I had a small business that was actually doing well. And then poof…it collapsed. So depression really started to kick in. So working out was the furthest thing from my mind. So was eating healthy.

So over the last couple of years I have gotten my vaccine, I have worn a mask, and I have figured out a way to suppor.t my family by selling art and sports cards, and doing other things online. And when I was able to go back to the gym…

I did not want to.

So here I am today. I am telling you that I started this year at my all time high weight ever. I am telling you that I am down 40 pounds. I am telling you I do not enjoy the gym yet. I am also telling you I am forcing myself to go. I am telling you that my eating is different. I am also telling you I refuse to gorge in food.

I am also going to tell you I am fat. And?

Being fat is weird. You can look at me and tell what my weakness is. I cannot look at a shitty parent or have a bad credit score. I cannot look at you and see you have nothing in the bank or failed relationships. But you can look at me and right away know that I eat a lot of food. You can make the educated guess and even say I cannot control how much I eat.

But where people mess up is when they perceive me, a fat man, as lazy or stupid. I can prove very quickly I am neither of those. No, what being fat proves is I consume more calories than I burn. And even the dumbest of dumb people are able to not eat as much as I do. I get it. Trust me, I do.

But I am fat. I am okay with it because being fat is not permanent and it never has been for me. It is a place I hate being but it is also a place that I have been time and time again only to get out of it. This time its a little different. See, I am not going into this as all or nothing. I am going into this knowing I will fall, but that is okay. I am going into this knowing I will make a mistake and I will skip a workout and I will not always eat apples and oranges.

When you are fat, people always think they are smarter than you. They always have this AMAZING diet plan that only they know about and they have lost blah blah blah and they want to tell you that you can also…

And I rarely say fuck you in weight loss. But fuck you.

So this is not going to be able how to lose weight. This is going to be the why. Why I got to where I am today. Why I want to be in a different place and the way I am going to get there.

Yes I take a pre workout. Yes I eat certain foods. No, I am not going to tell you because I am not a fucking pusher. This is not about that. Haven’t I said that enough here?

So get ready and enjoy. I think you will enjoy what I have to say. My thoughts. I might throw in a political post but I have never been a “resistor” or whatever they call them. I am a fat guy trying not to be.

And I am on my way to doing that now.

Thank you for reading. I am going to keep my newsletter open to all to ready but in order to comment or to message me, I am only allowing that for paid subscribers. And if you feel inclined, I would love it if you would but me a coffee here. I truly thank you for reading/