I Am Blah

So I do not really know what is going on with me. I am doing well with my health journey. I am focusing on selling cards and a way to promote/sell my art. My kids are doing extremely well and my life on paper is better than it has been in years.

But I am blah. Just in a huge blah mood. I am a mixture of depressed, anxious, and overall just unhappy. But here is the thing. I am not miserable. I am not like I was five years ago. I am not doubtful about the future. I am just kind of not in the best place. I have been in much worse places. I am blah.

It has nothing to do with the sad news that comes out daily. Bad news has been coming out for hundreds of years. Things that would be fixed with just a little courage yet never are. There are always tragedies. And while those items hurt and make me question our country and world of the future, that is not why I am blah.

I do not know why I am blah. I could always lose more weight but I have done well. I could always have more money but I am not where I was a few years back. My medication is working because I do not have crazy thoughts.

I am just blah.

When I am blah I try and stay away from people. I really have not been online a lot except to either promote sports card auctions or to tell Lauren Boebert to fuck off. Honestly, I do not enjoy Twitter like I once did. And that is fine. Because I find joy in other things like long form writing here, working out, sports cards, and my kids.

I hate feeling like I am the only person who feels a certain way. It is really one of the reasons why I write. I am writing this for a couple of reasons. One is to express my feelings so I can reread it and see where I am at. The other is to make sure if you also feel this way, you are not alone.

But in fun news, my son has his first school baseball game today. I do not know how much playing time he will get since there is eighteen kids on the team and he is the youngest by about three years. But we shall see.

More updates to come this week.

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