Eggnog is disgusting

It’s the holiday season. And while it’s a time for families to come together and gifts to be given, it’s also a time for absolutely shitty food.

Yeah, I said it. I am so sick and tired of everyone acting like holiday food is so damn good. It’s not, fruitcake is gross. All of it. It literally smells like socks and tastes like feet. If ham was so f*cking good, then it would be made more than twice a year. Peppermint is fine but peppermint flavored items like cookies and cakes and ice cream is just a joke. And Hanukkah is no better. What other time have you had a potato pancake or a chocolate coin that is impossible to open? And yes, finally, we get to eggnog, which is literally the second most disgusting drink ever out on this Earth. Coconut water is the most disgusting.

Now, I know what you are thinking, you are thinking I am wrong. You are thinking that your moms sisters uncles cousin makes the best blah blah blah and I don’t know what I’m talking about, right?

I’m an obese male. Even after losing 60 pounds, I have rather more food than you can imagine, I have eaten some disgusting food over and over again. This is an area I am an expert in. And I’m sorry but your opinion is not valid right now. ONLY MINE!!!!

Whomever invented eggnog must have been playing a joke. I mean, who says “Hey, let’s put eggs and cream in a frothy concoction that is so f*cking disgusting we are going to add a sh*tload of alcohol to it so it goes down.

Ummmmm, no thank you.

And people who tell you it’s good are just liars. They are paid by Big Eggnog to spread these lies. And quite honestly, it’s enough. They need to be exposed.

And it is a drink that is forced on you. And when you say no to grandma’s secret recipe, you are judged. Trust me, you are judged.

I think the problem with our society is that people are afraid to say the truth about some things. Politics is easy. Insulting Grandma Beatrice’s homemade sh*t isn’t.

Well, no more, I’m here to tel you that eggnog is disgusting.

And so is candy corn and Miracle Whip.