Day 2- Fattest At The Gym
So more and more I am going to dive into my life and my weight loss journeys. This is the first time I am writing one where I am close to the start. I wrote one 16 years ago, but my views on everything are much different.
So yes, I went to the gym today. Day 2. It was not a struggle to go. In fact, I was rushing on getting things done just so I could go. And I was pretty excited to get there, did my cardio, and left. Weight training will start next week.
The one thing I notice is I am the fattest person at the gym. I can lose 100 pounds and I will still be the fattest person at the gym. I come in with a hoodie and shorts and do not talk to anyone and work out.
Honestly, I am not self conscious about it. I do not give a f*ck. I always use the doctor analogy. Only a gigantic asshole will make fun of someone who goes to the doctor who is sick. So why would anyone say anything about me at the gym?
And it does not happen. In fact, it rarely happens. Maybe you saw something online or a friend of a friend told you. It might have happened to you but I am well over 300 pounds and the only people who ever talk to me are attractive men/women who think I am a mark for their pyramid powders.
The gym to me is where I used to go to get my mind straight and my anxiety has been crippling lately. Depression not as bad. But I am so worried about everything. Kids, finances, family. Very little of it is justified. Like I have said before, I have good people in my life.
So I worked out. I was about 55-60% of my top. I pushed myself hard today. It was actually fun. And my eating is slowly becoming how it once was.
It is funny, I forgot how good I felt when I was working out and eating better. I have said this and I do not mean this for discussion, but I am a food addict. I use food like people use some sort of drug. If I am in a dark place, I eat enough to be in a numbing state. Most people do not understand this. But since I know this, I also know that I can fight it as hard as possible. I do not win every time, but sometimes I do.
Okay, Day 2 is complete. I hope to see you tomorrow for Day 3. Hey, subscribe here if you can, subscribe to my eBay Sports Card Store where I have over 8500 cards and free shipping, and you can always buy me a coffee here.