Day 1...Again

Starting weight last year- 475

Current- 371

I can go on and on again about how my life changed in 2015. 10 years ago I was a restaurant manager who hated being in restaurants. I was offered to own a company with a partner who was a former millionaire and has worked in his industry for over 40 years. It seemed like everything I ever wanted. Better hours, more family time, and more money.

The thing I have learned in life is nothing is ever what is presented to you and that decision has destroyed every bit of value and confidence I ever had. My partner was an abusive drug addict who no longer is living. He left the company in shambles and have been picking up the pieces since. But that was 10 years ago. And I always promised myself I would not let the past dictate the future. But it did.

I have had some amazing people come in my life over the last few years. Also some horrible ones. People who were friends who ended up being different than I expected. But the one amazing person makes up for it all.

I am just giving a little background because 10 years ago, I worked up 7 days a week. It was a part of my day. Vacations were made around working out. I would be in the worst place ever if I did not. And then I stopped. After covid I tried to, but never was consistent. Not enough to write or brag about it.

Lately I have been gaining some of the weight I lost. I want to get back to where I was years ago and it is very possible. I am not good at many things in life, weight loss is one I am. It is the only test I fail that I know the answers. While “Eat Less and Move more” sounds condescending, it truly is the answer for weight loss. At least for me.

But I have promised to go to the gym every day and did not go. I have promised to eat my normla plan and have not. Stress has been bad. My depression and anxiety have taken over. Sales for sports cards are declining, although been picking up over the last month. I rarely post on Twitter. I want to make art but lost the audience for it. And honestly, I just have not been in the best head space.

My son wants to work out with me. To be clear, he is not a little kid anymore. He is 5 foot 10 and 200 pounds with no body fat. He can outlift me. He played varsity baseball this year and expecting a breakout sophomore year. And I want to work out with him.

So today I was going to go to the gym and decided not to. I needed to mail some stuff and while driving I saw this very super fit person running down the road. I looked and for some reason, I got mad. Not at this person obviously, but me. Why did I say I was not going to the gym? Why cant I fall in love with it again?

Life will not get better until I make it that way.

So I am struggling a little but I went to the gym. I did an hour of cardio. It is a start. I will go tomorrow, and the next day. I will start eating like I usually do. And honestly, I want to be the person I once was, I just have to find him.

So today is my Day 1. I am going to write a little every day. No politics, no human interest, just me and my weight loss and my life. I am turning off comments and DMs for a while because I just want an audience if I still have one. As always, if you like what you read you can always subscribe (I assure you it will be worth it) or give a little here .

But I am back. And ready for day 2.