Betting On Me
So I am going to be honest, I have not been great over the last month. Mentally I have been in a sad place and I really do not know why. I hate that. I am the kind of person that needs answers right away. And for the life of me I do not know what is causing it.
A lot has happened with me since the pandemic. I do not talk about it much but in 2015 I left restaurants to be a partner in a car business. In some ways it was the best decision I made in life but it was also the worst. So much that when my first company had issues in 2018, I contemplated suicide. It is not something I truly enjoy talking about nor is it anything I feel like discussing further. It was something that has changed my life and relationships forever and I have to live with that.
But after the first company I went to a second. But Covid as you know happened and the car industry really was not strong during. Sure, cars went up in price towards the end but for what I was doing, it was not good. So twice I lost everything. And I did something I never thought would work. I placed a bet on me.
So I focused on Twitter. I had about 200,000 followers there by telling Donald Trump and Ted Cruz to fuck off. I am not going to go into some long drawn out thing why I got more followers than others because I truly do not care. I only cared that I realized I had a big enough following to promote my art and sports cards.
You might have wondered about my art. Well, making a tweet or a thought to something physical on card stock is something I enjoy. And looking through sports cards calms me down. I have so many and when I am doing I just grab a stack and look through them. But I decided to sell both via Twitter. I kept my DM’s open and sold direct to people. But more than that, I sold me. I sold Tony Posnanski. I am a very loyal and appreciate person and every single person who bought art from me has a piece of my heart. But as time went on, selling art on Twitter got to a point of being horrible. I would have large accounts attack me for it. And for someone who deals with depression, that is the last fucking thing I need.
But the last month I realize Twitter is not for me anymore. It is like being in someone’s house that you know damn well they do not want you there but you are there for spite. Funny, I really should have just gone with a large liberal PAC and made my account into a “RT IF YOU HATE THE ORANGE MAN BOOOOOOO!!!” Yes, I have my opinion on those accounts just like they have of me. But the accounts that were liberal that went to be conservative for money still anger me. Oh, you did not know that? Well then, there is a post for later.
So it is enough. And for the 900th time, I am going to bet on me. I am going to post all my original content on Post (Follow me here). I have less than 1,000 followers there and the most likes I ever got was 45. Honestly, I do not care. It is peaceful. I enjoy it. Mastodon was just way fucking complicated and you had to figure out servers and you literally could be suspended for no fucking reason. I hated it there. And Post just seems neutral. The beauty of Twitter was there were two sides. It is boring if everyone thinks like you, but there is also a fine line that you have to walk.
I am also on Instagram. Look, I am not saying this for pity, but I am just too damn ugly and boring for Instagram. But I post thoughts and shit like that.
I am suspending art sales to the public for now. There are a select group of people I will continue to sell art to but otherwise I am not for now.
I am selling a lot of sports cards on Ebay and while I enjoy selling direct, it is hard for most to get in touch with me at this point and that is how I want to keep it. I might make sports card baskets on ETSY and if so you will know.
And last, I will now make a lot of content behind my paywall here. I understand if that is not for you. But I am on a health journey that is going to just get more interesting so I will post a couple paywall posts a week. It supports me just like my Ko-Fi does.
So that is where I am now. I am not going to be on Twitter except for posts like this. It is not fun, my account is limited to whom can see it, and honestly I am not wanted there. And that is find.
I have bet on myself so many times in my life. I have no problem doing it again.